Turn Up the Heat: 20 Expert Tips to Supercharge Your Sex Life Today
Keeping the spark alive in your sex life can sometimes feel like a challenge, especially when you're in a long-term relationship. Those initial butterflies might fade, and everyday routines can make the bedroom feel a bit... predictable. But don’t worry! Whether your sex life is sizzling or needs a little spark, there are always new ways to bring excitement back to the bedroom.
Here, top sex experts share 20 tips to elevate your intimate moments, whether you're looking to keep things light and playful or introduce a bit of kink. Ready to take notes?
1. Try Light Spanking for a Playful Twist
If you're curious about adding a touch of kink to your sex life, spanking can be a fun and sexy way to start—provided you and your partner have established clear consent. Stick to the fleshy parts of your partner’s body, avoiding hard bones or organs,
advises Dr. Wendasha Jenkins Hall, a sex educator and researcher. Not only is it safe, but it can also create a new kind of thrill.
2. Book a Hotel Stay for a Change of Scenery
Sometimes, getting out of your usual environment can do wonders for your sex life. Vacations are particularly beneficial for those in long-term relationships or with kids,
says Dr. Hall. Being away from home, where you don't have to worry about cleaning up or interruptions, allows you to relax and focus on each other.
A night in a hotel can transform your usual routine into a steamy escape.
3. Switch Up Your Positions
Routine can be a romance killer. If you find yourselves cycling through the same few positions, it’s time to mix things up. Try moves you wouldn’t normally consider, like the wheelbarrow or having sex in a chair,
suggests Dr. Hall. Exploring new positions can bring novelty and excitement, making each encounter feel fresh and thrilling.
4. Introduce Sex Toys to Enhance the Experience
Adding sex toys to your bedroom repertoire doesn’t mean replacing your partner; it means enhancing what you're already doing. Sex toys can bring new sensations and excitement,
says Dr. Hall. Whether it’s a vibrator, a butt plug, or something else that catches your eye, these tools can open up new avenues of pleasure for both of you.
5. Play a Sex-Related Game
Games that involve spontaneity, like sex dice or cards, can bring a playful element to your sex life. These games introduce an element of chance, which can be thrilling and help facilitate communication,
says Dr. Hall. They also provide an easy way to bring up new experiences or desires you might feel shy about discussing otherwise.
6. Start Sexting When You’re Apart
Nothing builds anticipation like a well-crafted sext. Sending flirty or dirty messages during the day can set the stage for an exciting night,
explains Dr. Hall. Whether it's a simple I can't wait to see you later
or something more explicit, sexting can keep the flame alive even when you're not physically together.
7. Experiment with Role Play
Spice things up by pretending to be someone else for the night. Role-playing can reignite the excitement of first dates and new encounters,
says Dr. Janet Brito, a certified sex therapist. You can start with a romantic dinner where you pretend to meet for the first time and let the role-play carry over into the bedroom. It’s a fun way to break out of your routine and add some intrigue to your sex life.
8. Create a Sexy Playlist
Music can set the mood in a big way. Compile a playlist of songs that make you feel sexy and confident,
suggests Dr. Brito. Whether you prefer sultry R&B or something with a bit more edge, music can help you both get in the mood and make the experience more immersive.
9. Incorporate Food for a Sensory Delight
Chocolate, whipped cream, strawberries—these aren’t just for dessert. Food can add a playful and sensual element to your sex life,
says Dr. Brito. Whether you’re feeding each other, licking off whipped cream, or just enjoying the mess, food play can be as sweet or naughty as you make it.
10. Treat Yourself (and Your Partner) to Lingerie
Lingerie can enhance visual stimulation and boost confidence,
notes Dr. Hall. With more inclusive options available, there's something for everyone. Wearing something special not only makes you feel sexy but can also be a treat for your partner, setting the stage for a night to remember.
11. Experiment with Temperature Play
Introducing different temperatures into the bedroom can heighten sensations. Try using ice cubes or warm breaths on sensitive areas like the neck, arms, or inner thighs,
suggests Dr. Brito. The contrast between hot and cold can awaken new nerve endings and create a unique sensory experience.
12. Get Real About Your Feelings
Sometimes, improving your sex life means addressing deeper emotional or physical issues. If sex has become painful or anxiety-inducing, talking to a healthcare professional can help,
advises Dr. Hall. Whether it’s a therapist, gynecologist, or counselor, getting support can make a world of difference. Remember, your partner isn't a mind reader—communicate your needs and work together to create a positive, pleasurable experience.
13. Reignite Passion with Makeup Sex
Makeup sex can be a powerful way to reconnect after a disagreement. The intensity of emotions can make the experience feel more passionate,
says Dr. Hall. Just remember to address the underlying issues afterward—sex can be a great way to blow off steam, but it shouldn’t replace honest communication and problem-solving.
14. Try Upside-Down Oral Sex
Looking for a new twist on a classic? Upside-down oral sex can provide a completely different sensation,
suggests Dr. Hall. Try lying on your back with your head hanging over the side of the bed while your partner positions themselves accordingly. The new angle can create a thrilling experience for both of you.
15. Take Control and Speak Up
Don’t be shy about expressing what you want in bed. Taking control of your pleasure is key,
says Dr. Hall. Whether it’s guiding your partner on how to touch you or suggesting new things to try, being vocal about your desires can lead to more satisfying sex. If you're unsure where to start, simple directives like touch me here
or go slower
can make a big difference.
16. Incorporate Pre-Sex Yoga
Yoga can help you and your partner relax and tune into your bodies before getting intimate. A few yoga poses before sex can help clear your mind and heighten bodily awareness,
says Dr. Hall. This mindfulness can make the experience more connected and pleasurable.
17. Explore Public Fantasies Safely
For those who enjoy the thrill of possibly being caught, public sex can be an exhilarating experience. Just be mindful of local laws and choose a secluded spot,
warns Dr. Hall. Whether it’s a hidden corner in a park or a deserted beach, the thrill of getting caught can add a new level of excitement.
18. Take It to the Backseat for Nostalgia
Car sex can bring back memories of younger days when privacy was hard to come by. There’s something nostalgic and exciting about car sex,
says Dr. Hall. Just make sure you're in a safe, private area where you won’t get into trouble.
19. Experiment with Different Penetration Techniques
Switching up penetration methods can open new doors to pleasure. For instance, pegging can be a safe way to explore new boundaries,
says Dr. Hall. This can be particularly exciting for partners with prostates, as this area is highly sensitive and capable of producing intense pleasure. Trying different techniques can help you and your partner discover new favorites and add variety to your sex life.
20. Dive into Anal Play
Anal play can be as simple or as involved as you like. Whether it’s using small anal beads, trying a butt plug, or even rimming, anal play can add a whole new dimension to your sex life,
suggests Dr. Hall. Start slow, communicate openly, and explore what feels good for both of you. Many couples find that adding this element to their sexual repertoire brings them closer together and opens up new experiences that are both thrilling and intimate.
Conclusion: Communication and Exploration Are Key
Whether you’re looking to bring a bit of playfulness back to the bedroom or explore new sexual horizons, these expert tips can help reignite your sex life. Remember, communication is key—talk openly with your partner, be adventurous, and most importantly, have fun! By trying new things and keeping the lines of communication open, you can ensure that your relationship remains passionate, connected, and exciting for years to come.