As a self proclaimed Sapiosexual (A person who is sexual attracted to intelligence in others) I find there are many ways in words can be sexy. There is a tendency to only think of visual images as evoking arousal but you can do the same with words. Spokes or written, words can be used to flirt or as foreplay. Words can enhance any part of your sexy time. I’d like to share some ways in which we can use language to titillate, tease and tantalize.
Everyday Spoken Language
Everyday spoken language is a great way to start. There are many different ways to get someone’s motor running with language. It can start with conversation. No need for pick-up lines, start with thoughtful conversation. Be mindful and present. You don’t need to be perfect but someone who has made an effort to expand their verbal repertoire can be very sexy. You can later turn up the sexy for a more ardent conversation. It really has a lot to do with what your partner responds to. Figure out if they like soft sensual language that subtly hints at sex, a carefully placed double entendre, or an alluring allegory? Perhaps leaning in close and whispering something deliciously explicit in their ear would get your partner really going rather than including it in conversation. Start a passionate discussion, ask an arousing question, or add a provocative suggestion. You may find your partner all hot and bothered before you’ve even touched each other! Use words during sex too. Be honestly complimentary, use searing hot direct language, tell them how you are feeling or, probably one of the sexiest ways to use your words, tell them what you like and what you want.
The written word
Ah, the timeless quality of the written word. I mean ink on paper, handwritten to laser printed. Despite being in the embrace of a digital age, I’ve heard people lament the passing of the hand written letter.While it still seems to exist in thank you notes and the occasion reminder written on a post-it, most of our correspondence is digital. But it doesn’t have to be. There was a time before phone calls, email and texting, even before mail could definitely positively be there over night, when a letter would take many days to arrive at its destination. It also seems to be a time of beautifully hand crafted love letters. I wonder how often this happen today? Take some time to put pen to paper, regardless of your penmanship prowess, and write something for your partner. You can compare them to a summer’s day (yes, not original but you get the idea) describe what it is about them that excites you, recount a favorite moment with them or as eloquently as you can describe how you would like to hungrily ravish them. Get inspired by some erotica, an author who’s voice your partner likes or evokes your own, quote if necessary or even pick up a darned thesaurus if you have to. It doesn’t need to be a tome, this is not the best of times and the worst of times. Let your heart, or other regions, speak in a length that works for you and your partner. Even a short simple note could really set of sparks.
The written word (digitally dispatched)
Emails, chat and texts are often the conveyors of todays love letters and spicy correspondence. They can even be a part of the whole sexual experience. In fact, I’ve had sexual encounters entirely via text and logged quite a few hours of sex chat. But there’s more you can do than just get down to the nitty gritty online. You can start some flirtation foreplay in an email or a text. Start setting the mood for a sexy encounter later that evening with emails during the day. Playful ones, suggestive ones, emails that increase to a feverish pitch or keep your partner on a seductive edge until you meet. Chat is a great way to keep the fire going if free time is in short supply or you are separated by distance. You can use words to keep a fan to the relationship flames when you can’t physically be there for each other. Texting and messaging is another sexy way to use words. Even a single text can make someone’s day a little warmer. A simple compliment or “missing you” message is sometimes all you need but feel free to write some full out erotica to each other if it works for both of you. Flirtatious Facebook messages and delectable DMs can be used for sexy chat, especially now they can be sent to your phone like a text.
I do beseech you, though. Please choose your words carefully when texting, chatting or messaging. Remember that without inflection or body language, sometimes messages can be misinterpreted. Also, mind your spelling and punctuation. We don’t text on alphanumeric keypads anymore. There’s no excuse for text slang and profuse abbreviations. Use that QWERTY keyboard that smartphone gave you. A quick “<3 u qt” when too busy to do more is acceptable but try to use full sentence when you can. Write out “you” and don’t use numbers unless your giving someone something that is numerical in nature like an address, your digits or sending a sexy mathematical equation. Want to really get me hot and bothered? Learn the different between they’re, there and their; hear and here; it’s and its and to really push me over the erotic edge; use e.g. and i.e. properly. (You had me at proper semi-colon use.)
Reading the written word
One of my favorite things is reading erotica. I also love it read out loud. Earlier in the day you can send portions of your favorite erotica to your partner. You can also read it to each other. Take something as straight forward as Penthouse Forum to sensual passages out of your favorite novel. You can choose from any number of anthologies out there with short erotic stories in a wide range of themes. These are perfect for curling up on the couch together or entwined in bed while you read whole pages or even switch off paragraphs.If fan fiction turns you on with its mixture of role-play and fantasy, then go for it. Read passages over Skype. Record it so it can be listened to in the car on the way home.You can even, gasp, write your own! Craft a romantic tale or a steamy surprise encounter. Set it in an exotic local or even add other partner to it in a way you may not be ready or willing to do in real life. Let your imagination soar and elevate you to new enticing heights.
Wrap Up
Whether written or spoken, original or borrowed, digital or analog, words can be a powerful tool in your sexual toolbox.It can warm you slowly or bring up fiery heat instantly. It can be lustful, wistful, romantic, racy, bold or tentative. Words are an amazing aphrodisiac.