By Nikki Leigh

Men and women often become sexually active at different ages. They also mature physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually at different ages. Let’s take a look at some of things that are indicative of an average person’s sex life in their 20s.

Whether you have your first sexual experiences in your teens or 20s, it’s likely that many people will experiment sexually in their 20s, perhaps because most people move out of their parent’s house in their 20s. College can be a great time to experiment and test the limits of your sexuality. Even for the young men and women who had parents who let them do what they wanted in their teens, there is still something stimulating and liberating about moving into your 20s – you’ve become an adult and have the freedom to explore your sexuality without being under the watchful eye of your parents.

Our perspectives and attitudes about sex change depending on our personal situations and our age. Some activities are more common in our 20s, 30s or 40s.

What are some of the things you tried in your late teens or your 20s? Here are a few examples:

Thinking About Sex A Lot

Men and women in their 20s think about sex a lot. Whether it’s triggered by seeing a hot woman or sexy guy, hearing a sexy voice, watching porn, seeing a centerfold or reading an erotic novel - or even a stiff breeze on a warm sunny day (!) – 20-somethings think about sex very frequently. When you’re in your 20s, usually you don’t have as many life responsibilities and sex is still a relatively new concept – that combination of free time and the excitement of a new ‘activity’ can add up to a lot of sensual daydreaming.

Bi-Curious and Same Sex Experimentation

Your 20s are a popular time to experiment, whether it’s with the opposite sex or the same gender. I’ve heard all kinds of stories about people experimenting in college or at parties when they are young. Even if you know that you’re straight, you may just be curious. What would it be like to kiss and maybe make out with another woman? What would it be like to kiss another guy? Your 20s may be the time you decide to find out how it feels.

NSA and Friends with Benefits

Your 20s are also a great time for ‘no strings attached’ sex and ‘friends with benefits.’ You may feel you’re too young to be married or you just aren’t ready to be in a long term relationship, but you still want to have sex – these are two options that men and women have at their disposal to get the intimacy they crave while remaining single. This decade provides years of time to ‘try people on’ and figure out what kind of mate you may want to choose for a life partner, even if you’re not ready for one yet.  It’s also a great time to build up your self-confidence and self-esteem, developing a sense of who you are, what type of sexuality you ‘own’ and how to project it to receive what you need emotionally and physically.

Various Sexual Positions

Your 20s can also be a great time to try a wide variety of sexual positions. You are young, full of energy and likely more limber and flexible than you will be in your 30s, 40s and beyond. This is a great time to try different types of sex and different positions. See what appeals to you and what you like with a partner. Your preferences could change as you get older and with different partners, but that’s all right. You keep things interesting and you can keep discovering new things that you enjoy.

Threesomes and Moresomes

Most men and many women have thought about or fantasized about being in a threesome or other group sex. You may feel your 20s are the right time to experiment with sex with multiple partners. A threesome or other group sex can be more enjoyable and less emotional when you aren’t in a relationship – so your 20s make sense as the time to try sex with a man and a woman, two men or two women. This is an article I wrote for couples considering a threesome and this is an article I wrote for an individual considering a threesome with a couple.  Both include important things you should consider before having a threesome.

Sex with An Older Partner

For people in their 20s with limited sexual experience or for those who are curious to learn more, sex with an older man or woman can be fulfilling and educational. An older partner will likely have more experience and can teach you new things – not only by introducing you to new techniques, but also to a new self-awareness. With age comes perspective and a propensity for slowing things down and savoring the moment. If you’re interested in learning how to cherish sex, become comfortable with it, or learn new things, then hooking up with someone older than yourself can be a good place to start.

These are just some of the activities and attitudes that can be normal for people having sex in their 20. What other things would you include?

There are many things to consider when you have sex for the first time and when you’re having sex at a young age. That is content for another article, but if you would like to talk about concerns or question, feel free to email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Read the other articles in this series:

Your Sex Life By Decade: 30-Somethings

Your Sex Life By Decade: 40-Somethings