You might hold the belief that sex with disabilities is a hassle and burdensome. The truth is that sex with disabilities can be better than sex without it. Hassle is about attitude. For one person it may seem daunting to think creatively, maneuver, adjust, find alternative positions, for another it is a blessing. Navigating the myriad of possibilities unlocks people from repetition and doldrums. It supplies the opportunity to expand the meaning and experience of sex and that may be anything but a hassle or burdensome.
This myth affects everyone. It fogs up entire cultures, people with and without disabilities. Because this myth assumes human beings intrinsically know how to perform sexual acts and therefore, don’t require any education or guidance on the subject. It also assumes that if you can’t figure it out you should be left to do without it. Sex is much more complicated than penis in vagina. And often times don’t involve both or either. So, no one naturally knows it all. We do not come naturally equipped with the knowledge of condoms, naturally skilled to pleasure and naturally concerned about sexual consequences. People learn sexual negotiating skills, consent, and boundaries. They learn what sex is and how to make love.
Below are some specific myths about people with disabilities to clear out and make way for accurate knowledge, sexual skill-building and differently-abled, erotic, intimate experiences.
• We are asexual
• If it isn’t addressed we won’t get aroused
• If we don’t have one ability other abilities will be exceptional
• Our genitals are retarded
• Only certain kinds of people hook up with us
• The disability is more important than sexuality
• What a hassle
• People naturally know how to have sex, and if we don’t, we shouldn’t be having it
• It is better not to risk reproduction
• Sexuality is not part of healthcare
• We are either innocent, too pure to have sex with or helpless victims, unable to have good sex
• People with disabilities aren’t at risk for sexual abuse
All people have the right to opportunities for sexual expression, sexuality education, contraception and sexual abuse prevention and treatment. These rights are often challenged or ignored because of myths.