Recently, after hearing the ugly details of yet another marriage biting the dust, I had to ask myself, is it me or are people ditching marriages like a bad case of the winter influenza?
Over the past month or so we’ve all been bombarded with the latest news of another high profile marriage heading down that one-way road to Splitsville. Our responses to the Governator’s transgressions range from “who cares,” to the “all men are dogs,” to the “why would he do that?” variety.
It seems this bug like that nasty winter cough affects everyone regardless of race, class, gender, creed, religion, etc. Divorce is spreading like the plague (Recent estimates pin the U.S. Divorce Rate somewhere north of 50%).
As in half.
As in 2 out of four.
As in the glass is half full or half empty.
I’m not going to defend/condemn/hang or take any stance with Arn’s choices; that’s a private affair. But there is something that was allegedly said by one Mr. S a long time ago, that got my wheels turning.
Some ask questions. Some throw stones. And some just decide to do what I do… read.
And I don’t mean this week’s edition of the hottest tabloid either (though I do indulge in my own share of gossip, it’s just that most of it revolves around my circle of friends and their drama is much more entertaining). Okay I admit it. I read some of that stuff too. But this is America. I have certain inalienable rights. Reading is fundamental.
All right then. My initial “source” was questionable but nevertheless it sent me down a trail of discovery.
Mr. S allegedly complained at one point about an unhappy sex life in his marriage. I don’t care about the details of that, but that statement is where I’m headed.
An unhappy sex life
And after doing some real research, I discovered that the average couple has sex about four times a month.
FOUR TIMES A MONTH!
Once a week.
Less than 50 times a year!
It doesn’t take much deductive reasoning to conclude that 48 is less than 50, thus there must be some correlation between the lack of marital sex and divorce. (I’m trying to sound smart here. Stay with me).
After reading this, I was appalled. It was as if the sky opened up and the world suddenly became a clearer place for me. That explained why all of my married friends were always so freaking uptight. That’s why their wives were always on edge. That’s why if you went over there and cracked a joke about that casserole she drummed up, you were liable to get the death stare from both of them because there was enough pent up frustration in the room to make a prisoner uncomfortable.
As I thought about all of the couples, that were still married and the ones who had been divorced or are getting divorced, the evidence began to prove the case.
No Sex = No Happy = Divorce = No Money
Come on people. We know better. George Michael told us back in the 80’s “…. Sex is natural. Sex is cool.”
It’s been scientifically proven that people who have happy sex lives, live longer. Hormones are released that stimulate the brain and heart. If it is going to help you live longer, surely you should be doing it more than four times a month.
Four times a month is like driving your car on cruise control all the way to Vegas.
For the rest of your life.
Four times a month?
That‘s like doing it just enough to keep the cobwebs away and not let rigor mortis set in.
Imagine if you toss a few kids into that mix and the general stress of maintaining a household. Someone’s gonna want more and someone’s going to be giving less, and in the end there’s only one place to go.
But it really doesn’t have to be like that.
I think it’s fair to say that most men like to have sex more often than women do. It is an undeniable part of our natural make-up and it definitely drives us on many levels. So ladies the impetus may be on you to some degree.
I’m not a sex therapist, (there are people on evolvedworld who are), but I know that if you’re having sex regularly, you don’t have time to be mad, and you probably have even less time to have an affair unless of course there’s something wrong with the sex itself, but that’s a whole other ballgame.
Furthermore the thing with sex and marriage is that you are supposed to love that person. It’s not a casual fling, so having sex is supposed to enhance what you’ve already worked this hard to achieve. Think back on how things were when you first met. How freely the two of you engaged in sex. Reincorporate that back into your life and make it a priority.
Of course sex can’t save a marriage that was doomed to fail from the start, but it can sure help one where the two people are committed to each other and want to make it work.
So next time you’re feeling a case of the D coming on, just remember; take eight does of sex.
You’ll forget the bug ever bit you.