How many of you watched last year’s hit romantic comedy, “No Strings Attached?”  If it doesn’t ring a bell then I would cordially like to invite you to free yourself from that rock you’ve been living under and welcome in the New Year.

It’s 2011.

And there are these things called movies that sometimes actually end up being pretty cool.  Go and see one.  They’re easy to find.  Take your husband/boyfriend/significant other with you.  Hell he might enjoy it too.  They’re just one of those tiny little technological advances that have occurred in the past 100 years or so.

The world’s been going through some drastic changes lately.  You just might want to tune in.

Having said that, I didn’t see the movie myself.

And no, it’s not because I despise Natalie Portman or I have a heavy dose of man-hate for Ashton Kutcher (Demi Moore is hot though).

My reason for passing it up was pretty simple:  I’ve seen this all before.

To help you out, the basic premise of “No Strings Attached” was guy meets girl.  Guy and girl like each other and decide to have a physical relationship.  Guy and girl swear that it will stay strictly physical.  Guy and girl end up following in love.  You can write the ending with any of your personal tragic (or heart-warming) experiences.

Which brings me back to my original point.

Be warned that the information that I am about to share with you is strictly confidential.  You can take it or leave it, but the bottom line is, it is the time-tested truth.

Here goes…. 4 (four).

Think about that number for a moment.  Most warm blooded animals have four legs.  There are four seasons in every year.  There are four doors on a four-door sedan.  A car has four tires.

Stop.

Take yourself from the exoteric and delve into the esoteric.

There are four letters in love.  If two people are married there must be four people present (2 witnesses and the two parties getting married).

Now you’re ready.

The reason I’m mentioning the number four lies somewhere in the depths of love.  It’s a secret reason that I am going to share with you.

If a man has sex with a woman four times he officially has real feelings for her.

Most men, who have ever had sex with more than one woman, already know this, though they may not actually know that’s the reason why he’s waiting on her to call him back.  Or the reason he’s been texting her since five this morning, just to see if she’ll actually text back.

But it’s true.  Four times and it’s “I really do like her,” status.

Go ahead, naysayers speak up.  They’re mostly going to be men who will swear that they have been having relations with the same woman for fifteen years and could care less about her.  That’s a bold face lie, and the reason they’re going to be in such uproar is because frankly ladies, we just don’t want you to know this.

Do you know what revealing this information can do for the normal balance of relationships in this supposed male dominated world?  We’re talking a major shift in roles, where he’s home taking care of the baby and you’re hanging out with your friends, chugging beers and doling out ones to finance college educations.

Knowing this information should give you true insight into the male perspective.  If you don’t think it’s going to work with him, leave while you can.  Otherwise you’ll stay far beyond “four” and ultimately end up with some guy you knew wouldn’t work out.  (Because women have their number too, but that’s for another day).

This is valuable intel here, but sadly some of you may not believe this either.  Consider for a moment, your past relationships.  Really consider them.  Did he seem like he distanced himself after a certain point or maybe he seemed to put up this proverbial wall of some sort.  Guess what?  Those were just smoke screens, masks, gremlins on the trail to throw off his scent.  He had fallen for you.

He did what most inexperienced men would do in that situation.  He ran.  And you probably ran after him.  (For a while at least, then you came to your senses, called him a jerk, and moved to the next “four.”)

Admittedly, I’ve been there before myself, though I’ve come to better understand the Power of Four.  Now, if I don’t think the relationship is headed anywhere, I’ll just end it at three.  Why even test fate and find myself staring down the track at a love train with a jammed brake?

Many may ask, so if this is true, why would I want to tell this to women?

Take it as an olive branch of sorts.  A sort of truce between the sexes for the sake of all mankind.

Or simply think of it as just another dish served in Dimitri’s never-ending feast.