A New Vibrator Claimed to Help Women Orgasm From Missionary Sex

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I don’t know about you, but I like using my hands for things, like making sandwiches and eating sandwiches. Which is just one of the few reasons the Eva, a new vibrator from Dame Products, is poised to be a game-changer. The vibrator, which is available for preorder now, is being promoted as “the first hands-free, strap-free, non-intrusive couples’ vibrator,” a breathless promise that sounds a little bit like those infomercials that were on at 3 a.m. in 2003 right after Just Shoot Me (I may or may not have bought an electric cattle prod-like taser that promised to get rid of a double chin.)

To double the coolness of it, the Eva was created by two twentysomething women in Brooklyn named Alexandra Fine and Janet Lieberman, who were aghast when they learned of the “pleasure gap” between the male and female orgasm rate: an estimated 70 percent of women have a hard time orgasming from penetration, while 75 percent of dudes orgasm every time. And a huge factor in this is the fact that the clitoris often gets ignored during sex. Or if it’s not ignored, it requires an awkward reach-around or a lot of fumbling, and even then, some clits are too sensitive for direct manual stimulation! (Mine has to light a candle and put the Dixie Chicks on before someone even gets near it.) The sole motive of the Eva is to stimulate your clitoris while you have penetrative sex with your partner, hands-free.

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So I decided to try the Eva with my boyfriend (“Just don’t make me look at it”). It looks like a cute little bug and comes with a USB charger and a black satin pouch for safekeeping. You basically tuck the two “wings,” facing downward toward your vagina, underneath your labia majora — so it’s not inside your vagina (where your partner ostensibly will be), but above him/her. It has three speeds that are all good for different kinds of sex; if it’s not a “wham, bam, thank yo,u bro” situation, the lowest speed is definitely powerful enough but won’t push you over the edge too fast. The vibrating part, the slimmest point of the Eva, should be directly over your clit.

We decided to try missionary first, since I would be kind of busy trying to figure out how to put it on. In retrospect, should have put it in before we started having sex, but hindsight is twenty-twenty, or fifty-fifty, or whatever the fuck hindsight is.

The initial shock of it was awesome — it was less like using a bullet during sex and more like his penis sprouted a second penis that could cover the clit action. Not only were our hands free, but we could actually make eye contact instead of constantly looking around to figure out what was where and where it should be instead. It was the closest I’ve ever come to having an orgasm in missionary. Unfortunately, it kept slipping off of me, and I’d start laughing, and then he’d be like, “Can you just not laugh right now?” Eventually I just put it aside and we kept going — but it definitely gave me a much-needed head start.

It seems that the little wings on the Eva, which can expand and retract pretty freely, probably work for tons of other people, but it kept slipping off of me. One quick disclaimer about that though: I have to talk about my labia for a second. (If you can’t handle that, go read this article about Syria. Oh, dip.) My labia are sort of short. Like, possibly shorter than normal. But not so short that, like, a gynecologist would take one look at them and quit her job to go backpacking through Europe and “find herself,” but definitely enough where waxers have politely suggested alternate options for pube arrangement.

In other words, I would imagine that other women with similar body types would have the same kind of problem, while those with more prominent labia might feel the full effect better. It felt awesome while it was on — and once there are a couple prototypes that fit more of a range of bodies (hopefully with names like Big Lips McGee), the Eva will totally be a game-changer.