Valentine’s Day. It can strike fear into the heart of any poor soul looking for a new way to show their paramour they love him/her. With the gentrification of a day meant for passion, it’s easy to get inured to the message. But fear not! I bring good news! This is the best day of the year to get creative with new escapades in the boudoir! What better excuse to turn on your inner sex-kitten and strut your way to a purrrrrfect late night love tryst! The following are a few suggestions on how to make your man beg for more of your catnip.
SENSORY OVERLOAD: It doesn’t make you the Marquis de Sade if you slap on a harmless little blindfold. When you take away his ability to see, you take away his expectation of what’s (echem) coming next, which heightens the rest of his senses like his sense of touch. After he’s blindfolded, let him know that only you are allowed to touch and that he needs to keep his hands to himself … for now. Begin by lightly and ever so slowly grazing your fingers over the parts of his body that seldom get attention. Great erogenous zones for men happen to be; the base of his neck about an inch in and over his collarbone. He’ll squirm when you brush the slightest suggestion of your finger (or your tongue) over this spot. Next, the legs … there’s a spot on each inner thigh that is extremely sensitive on most men. You can usually detect it by a symmetrical oval hairless patch about six to eight inches up from his knee. The tip of your tongue is your best bet here, while you use your fingers on the identical spot on the opposite leg. Since you’re down there anyway (noooo, THAT comes later … literally!), stroke the backs of his knees the same way. The key to this tactile ride is for your touch to be light and slow with a dash of the unexpected as you explore the other, shall we say, more “familiar” body parts. Think of this as a lovely “amuse bouche” to the main course of what’s coming next. He’ll barely be able to hold still!
IT’S A PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN WORLD: It’s the eternal question; is porn art? My answer? Who cares? It gets the job done and I, for one, LOVE IT. I also don’t know a man alive who at doesn’t, at least, view it occasionally. Whether you are a connoisseur, a regular viewer or a sporadic patron, you cannot deny it’s lustful affect. And, there’s nothing sexier to a man (or a woman) than when he can enjoy porn with his partner (with a little groping under the covers for good measure). Granted, some sex flicks can be pretty explicit and may not be your cup of tea. In this case, I suggest the burgeoning cottage industry of “couples porn.” Couples porn is softer and more affectionate … love-making, if you will. More passion and less fuck for your buck. Your man will get off on the mechanics and the visual and you will get off on the connection and desire while the couple on the screen fornicates for your pleasure. What could be more perfect? Suggestions? I thought you’d never ask: Camille Crimson’s www.artoftheblowjob.com and www.pornographiclove.com are a great place to start. Thank me later.
GO EASTERN: You don’t need to be a yoga master or a seer to partake of the sensual gifts the eastern philosophies have given us. We’ve all heard of Tantra, but have you ever heard of a Lingam Massage? Lingam is defined by Dictionary.com as: A symbol of divine generative energy, esp. a phallus or phallic object worshiped as a symbol of Shiva. So, basically … a penis. Massaging a man’s penis is a skill that can be learned with minimal effort with a great instructional website or dvd. I highly recommend Jaiya’s Red Hot Touch series: www.redhottouch.com). Jaiya is a highly respected sex educator and author and her DVD’s and website are a fantastic education. The corresponding massage for women is called a Yoni massage. Yoni is defined as A stylized representation of a vulva worshiped as a symbol of a goddess or Shakti. In other words…a vagina. A Yoni massage is an incredible sensory adventure that he can learn as well (an instructional video for that is also available through Jaiya’s site). I have personally given Lingam massages and received Yoni massages and they have been some of the most intimate and sexually satisfying experiences I’ve had. So set the mood with candles, ambient music and a great lube (something that won’t dry out easily, like silicone based or a natural oil like coconut oil will be needed (keep in mind that oil of any sort is incompatible with latex and should not be used with diaphragms or condoms.)
At the end of the day, Valentine’s Day that is, it’s about showing your love and hopefully getting closer with your partner. Sexual abandon is all about being open and building trust so … as always, stay true to yourself when trying something new and set your intention to have an earth-shaking night. Whether you’ve been together 30 years or 30 minutes, any of these sexy scenarios will help bring a smile to your face and that of your lucky partner.