Emails, text messages, Facebook, Skype and Twitter are all ways that people stay connected in today’s social arena. While the internet has made communication more convenient, how do you determine whether a relationship is real or just being maintained through the ease of the internet?
There’s a new wave of relationships that are being “e-maintained”, no dates needed – just periodic Skype sessions, a few Twitter mentions, and occasional chatting on Facebook and text messages? Are you in the number of women that are being maintained by technology? I am and didn’t even realize it. For months Jason* and I would send Facebook and text messages back and forth with an occasional phone call here and there. We went to dinner once but whenever I inquired about meeting up again he’d talk about how killer Grad school had been and that he didn’t have time. However, he would check in often enough to make me feel like he was interested. It wasn’t until I read an article on Huffington Post that I realized that I was being “e-maintained”.
Though Jason was somewhat interested in me, he really wanted to keep me around in the event that he did want to get together. It wasn’t a sincere romance built on mutual admiration and affection – just a glorified pen pal. If this sounds a bit familiar read below for other signs of being e-maintained:
- His texts are general and be applicable for anyone really. “What’s up”, “how’s your day going”, and “how are you” can easily be sent to you without much thought. A sincere message will have some kind of personal reference – maybe he asks about your crazy coworker or your dog; something that shows you that he didn’t just hit “forward” to a chain of people.
- You always feel a bit left in the dark on how he really feels. While I was “dating” Jason I always had some doubts deep down in my gut and never really knew where I stood with him. Yes, we seemed to be chatting in some way or another all the time but I could never seem to get the validation I was yearning for. A guy that’s legitimately into you will let you know where he stands and you won’t feel unsure about the relationship.
- His actions aren’t speaking louder than his words. He says he wants to see you or wishes he could hang out but for some reason weeks go by and you still haven’t seen him. People make time for what they want to make time for; if a man wants to see you – he will make a way to do so no matter how busy he may be. At the end of the day keep in mind that, “where is there a will, there is a way!”
Though the technology has made communication easier than ever and is able to bond friends who live hundreds of miles away, it’s important to be able to differentiate what’s real and what’s fake. Just because he reaches out to you via social networking sites or through texts messages doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s genuinely interested in your well being. Be sure that his actions back up his words!