For a long time I had no idea there was anything more than the inexpensive plastic dildos and vibrators. Then I was introduced to amazing companies like Lelo, Je Joue, Fun Factory, Jimmy Jane, Njoy and others. The price of their products initially gave me sticker shock but the overall quality proved they were worth every penny. Some of these toys are priced out of range for me. I’ve gazed at them on websites and in stores the way I’ve gazed at luxury cars I wish I could drive. I was surprised to find out this year I was only looking at the BMW and Lexus versions of these toys. Out there were Ferrari and Bugatti level sex toys. Yes, I found the sex toys of the rich and famous! So join me for champagne wishes and caviar dreams!
Lelo is world renowned for their beautifully designed toys. If you only see their products at your favorite sex shop or online store, you may have missed their Luxe line. At the top end is the Inez, the self proclaimed “most exclusive vibrator ever created.” This 24K gold-plated vibrator goes for $15,000, according to the Lelo site. You can get the stainless steel version of this toy for the more modest price of $7,900. This “elegant and luxurious pleasure object” has five pre-programmed stimulation modes, is near silent, rechargeable and comes with a satin pouch in a lovely wood gift box.
The Inez isn’t the only status conscious toy in the Lelo Luxe collection. There’s the Yva, a small egg-shaped vibrator that is rechargeable and comes with a satin pouch in a wooden gift box. It retails for $3,900. Another is the Olga dildo, also available in 24K gold plate or in stainless steel. This also comes with a satin pouch and the wood gift box. The double-ended dildo is beautifully shaped. It retails for just $3,490. There’s also the Earl butt plug. Also in 24K gold or stainless steel, it comes in the trademark elegant wood box with a set of matching cufflinks. Yes, matching cufflinks! All this for the amazing price of $2,590.
Another well-known toy manufacturer with a luxury line is JimmyJane. The Little Platinum Eternity is a silent, waterproof, “everlasting” vibrator. While not very ergonomically shaped (its basically just a slim cylinder), it is decorated with 28 diamonds and comes with a patented replaceable motor for only $3,500. They even provide you with the one AA battery it requires, you have to pay extra for the rechargeable ones. It also comes in platinum sans diamonds, platinum with heart etching, 24K gold, gold with etching, and stainless steel. You can get a special edition Little Steel Tonight designed by Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics. This one is engraved with hand-written lyrics from the song “Let’s Do It Again,” and is encircled with 28 black diamonds. It sells for $2,000.
Parisian jewelry company Maison Victor created an unusually shaped jewel encrusted vibrator. The Phantasm is made of platinum and has a rounded handle set with 27 diamonds. The longer bulbous end of the vibrator can be unscrewed to release a diamond ring that can be worn. The ring is referred to as a wedding/engagement ring. Nothing says be mine forever like a diamond ring taken off the middle of your vibrator. Nor do I understand why you’d want your wedding ring to be part of your vibrator? All with a $60,000 price tag.
A line that may not exist anymore, Scarlet Amour by jeweler Colin Burn, created some of the most extraordinary luxury sex toys. The photos I found were mind blowing but the original website no longer exists, but I just had to include them. These pieces are crafted out of gold and platinum and encrusted with diamonds. The Eternity Dildo is made of platinum, diamonds and conkerberry wood. It retails for $38,000 and it doesn’t even vibrate! The platinum end has an interesting wavy pattern molded into it with a stunning diamond band right before what looks like an uncomfortable short and round handle. The dildo looks designed by someone who has never used a dildo, unfortunately. It’s definitely a toy for someone more interested in knowing they have a toy about as expensive as a Mercedes Benz than a well proportioned dildo.
Other items from the Scarlet Amour line are the Eternity Egg made of 18K yellow and white gold with four carats of diamonds around the center of the egg. This $25,000 vibrating egg is leashed to what looks like a cylinder with a dial at the end to control speed, although I can’t imagine having that ring of diamonds rattling against my delicate interior. You can also get the Casanova Vibrator that is cast in solid silver then layered in 22K gold. The ornate shaft is decorated with 24 cabochon cut gemstones and a genuine 7mm pearl. All of this makes it look more like a reliquary than a sex toy and, like the some of the others toys, looks completely unusable. Perhaps the exterior is smoother than it appears. I’ll never know as it retails for $3,500.
Colin Burn also created, along with jeweler Nicole Gallus, what can be considered the most extreme luxury sex toy ever to exist. The vibrator called “Pearl Royal” is made of solid platinum and is thoroughly encrusted with over a 1,000 pink and white sapphires along with diamonds and pearls. The largest pearl, which is actually the power button, can be removed to put in an accompanying necklace. As Burn says “This is designed as a luxury product for art and erotica enthusiast.” And with a price tag of $1 million dollars it must inspire quite a bit of enthusiasm for these collectors.
There are surprisingly many outrageously priced toys. There’s the jewel encrusted $2,500 Casanova Whip from the Scarlet Amour collection. Bettony Vernon has $19,000 Ben Wa Balls and $5,000 nipple clips. Velv’Or makes a $3,700 cock ring. Perhaps I’ll delve into them another time. Until then, I hope the toys you’ve read about here make the $300 you’re spent on your NJoy Eleven seem like the great deal it is! Money well spent. I’ve learned that people with a fortune burning a hole in their designer pockets not only want diamond encrusted cell cases and Victoria Secret bras but some unbelievably exclusive sex toys.