Men, Take It From ‘Okay’ To ‘Oh yes!’

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men take it from okay to oh yes

Okay, fellas, this is not an attack, I promise. We love you. We need you. We enjoy you. And sex with you can be great but sometimes … it’s not. And most women are taught to be passive and not speak up about their needs, especially when it comes to sexual desires, so you need to pay attention. She may not say it with words, but her body will speak clearly if you just listen.

A lot of men assume that what turns on the man will turn on the woman so they will give what they want to get. This is sometimes true, but not always. We congratulate your efforts, but if you’d like to shift things from “okay” to “OH YES”, here are ten tips that will help you to get there.

1. Bring on the romance. For most women, it can take a bit more time to get in the mood than it does for men. Take the time to give compliments, make her feel special. Let her know that you want her specifically and not just anyone. Enjoy the seduction even if you’ve been married for 20 years.

2. Communication is key. Share turn ons and turn offs and ask her how she wants you to make love to her. And if she tells you she doesn’t like something, don’t assume you can convince her with your magic tongue. There’s nothing sexier than respect.

3. Remember the pre game. Foreplay should not be treated as something to be rushed through on the way to the main event. Remain fully invested in the moment. Explore all her erogenous zones with a sensual massage. Explore and discover: caress her navel, her inner thighs, between her toes, under her chin and along her spine.

4. Give as good as you get. Believe it or not, she may not enjoy giving you oral sex as much as you enjoy getting it, but she does it out of the pleasure in knowing and hearing how much it turns you on. Return the favor and do so with gusto. And keep in mind that the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings. Twice as many as the head of the penis! So don’t chew or rub too hard.

5. She’s your lover, not your wrestling partner. Treat her body, earlobes, and nipples gently until you learn how sensitive she is. Don’t lie on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms. Odds are good, you’re bigger and stronger than she, and so pay attention to your thrusting to make sure it’s not too hard. She’s not there for your pleasure; it’s a shared experience so be sure to check in.

6. It’s a dance, so you gotta move. Avoid the usual routine and make love in different positions, but pay attention to her body language. When you get a positive reaction from your lover, stay on course and keep doing what you are doing to please her. It can be a lot more challenging for a woman to find what most stimulates her, so it can be frustrating for her to say “yes, right there”, only to have you immediately flip her over because you want to try something you saw in a porn once.

7. No rear entry without an invitation. The assumption might be that since a woman’s body can be used for penetration that some anal action can’t be that different. Well, it is. Very, very different. So don’t try to slip in the back door by “accident.” Find out if she has any desire for anal sex and you’ll soon discover that she either loves it or thinks of it as an exit not an entrance.

8. Your big finish is not necessarily the end. Once a man ejaculates, his body releases a cocktail of brain chemicals that inspire a need for relaxation. Make sure she has also reached the peak of her pleasure, which may or may not include an orgasm, before you give in to the desire to fully rest. Even if you’re spent, go down on her until she climaxes too or until she asks you to stop.

9. Check in before you check out. You’ve just shared and experienced the most intimate act two people can share. Have an action replay of the highlights of your lovemaking by letting her know how much you enjoyed kissing, having her on top, oral in 69 position and show the proper respect by holding her close so that she knows that’s she’s special and not just convenient.

10. Create anticipation. Tell her what you want to do next time to enhance pleasure for both of you, such as finding her G-spot or using a penis ring during intercourse. Be sure to ask her to state her desires so that you can both have something new and exciting to look forward to. Visit together and purchase a new sex toy such as or so that you will be her “OH YES” guy who creates sexual magic and memories for her.

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