The dating game is not an easy one. It can be complicated, convoluted and downright confusing at times. Just as in any game, there are rules, regulations and violations that can get you ‘out’ – but what are they?
How do you find Mr. Right? What is the formula for dating? These are questions that many of us ask ourselves so I have a few pointers that will help you to navigate the unpredictable single landscape.
What Are You Looking For?
First, you have to establish what you’re looking for in a guy. While this may seem very easy at first, you might find it challenging as you attempt to clearly outline and identify what you will and won’t tolerate from a man- everything from how he treats his mother to if he smokes cigarettes. Once you’ve established this list, you’ll have a great foundation to work from in your search. Note: Don’t get too obsessed with this list and let it impede the opportunity for you to hit it off with a man, but rather use it as general parameters for who you’re willing to lend your precious time.
Set guidelines for yourself and others. Designate expectations for what you are looking for but also be sure to keep them realistic. Don’t cancel a man out because he didn’t open the door for you. Instead mention to him that certain chivalrous acts are something you expect from the person you’re dating. Then if he doesn’t take the hint, you can send him packing.
Bend But Don’t Break
Be flexible, but don’t go against your instincts. If you meet someone who has a lot of the qualities you are seeking, but a few key factors stick out that aren’t up to your expectations, don’t compromise too much. It’s completely okay to be flexible in a relationship, but bending over backwards too much can lead to you compromising some of the key components you’ve already set out, which will defeat the purpose of you outlining anything in the first place.
To Call Or Not To Call?
The million dollar question. Don’t you want to know the rationale behind the mind games men play when it comes time to make that first phone call? Let me tell you: there is no rationale. Every guy you encounter is going to have a different mindset of when it’s “too soon” to call the woman they’re courting. Some men like to make us wait…building anticipation and keeping us interested, while others will call right away which some women might read as being too aggressive or even desperate. The “calling game” is a complex one, but it’s best to be very clear and up front about what you expect and maybe even when you expect it. Don’t scare him away, but maybe casually allude to the fact that you’re expecting a call within the next few days, the week, etc. And if that’s not enough, just pick up the phone call him yourself!
Don’t Overthink Things
As women, we have a tendency to make many things that aren’t complicated, very complicated. Going with the flow can sometimes be the best advice as placing too many rules, regulations, guidelines, etc. can lead to anxiety and/or missing out on a potential mate due to unnecessary complexities. While it is still important to make it clear what you want in a relationship, try not to dismiss people out too soon because you might be nixing your diamond in the rough!