Breaking up is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. There comes a time in a relationship when it’s just no longer feasible for the two of you to stay together – whether they know it or not.
If your heart is no longer in the relationship and you want out, there are some things you can do to make the break-up less hurtful and let them down easy. Of course, every situation is different, depending on how long you’ve been together, the current dynamic of the relationship, etc., but the following tips should help most situations and can likely be slightly modified to fit with what you might be going through. When breaking it off with someone, remember to:
This is the number one most important thing. If you go into this difficult situation with intentions of being dishonest, it could blow up in your face. Remember that this is a person you once trusted and you probably owe it to them to keep it real when laying things on the line. If the truth is going to hurt, then don’t tell them you’ve found someone else, or you’re just not attracted to them anymore. Instead, say you think you’d like to see other people and that you need to take a step back and figure out exactly what you’re looking for in a relationship and in order to do that you have to separate yourself from that person.
Tell Him First
A lot of people make the mistake of telling other people their plans of breaking up before they’ve told the person. This is a BIG NO NO! This opens the door for the chance of him finding out before you’re ready to break the news, which could be disastrous. Not only is it embarrassing for him, but it also looks bad on you. You need to ensure that you are taking responsibility for breaking up, and having someone else do your dirty work (intentionally or unintentionally) is NOT the way to do it! So keep your lips sealed until you break the news to him first.
Right Place At The Right Time
I know it seems impossible to find the right time and place to break up with someone, but there are a few factors to consider when you drop the bomb. Try to avoid doing it on any special day such as birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. This will only make that day bitter for that person for a very long time and it will appear very insensitive on your part. Also, try to do it somewhere quiet and not public. A public place is okay if there is a modicum of privacy, but breaking up with someone in an open style restaurant is just plain mean. Think of their feelings, and allow for a space where they may need to cry or yell. Either way, you’re moving on, so the least you can do is give them their moment. Of course this doesn’t apply if violence is a concern.
Do It In Person
In the technological age of text messages, email, video chatting, etc., it’s becoming popular to break things off using a screen instead of face to face. Don’t do this! If you cared for this person enough to date them, please consider their feelings at this point. Also, you will feel better and be able to hold your head up high knowing that you bit the bullet and broke up in a respectful way. Ending a relationship over text or e-mail is just plain cowardly.
Breaking up is never fun, but if you keep all of the above in mind, you should be able to take away some of the anxiety and fear associated with dropping this hurtful and sometimes shocking bomb. Good luck!