When someone asks how your relationship is, what do you say? Do you smile and say, “It’s great?” Do you try not to grit your teeth when you say, “It’s fine?” Or, do you hesitate because you aren’t sure how you feel about your relationship?
No matter what stage you or you and your partner are at, a love coach or relationship coach can help you with a variety of areas of your personal development. They help you set and reach goals in the following areas of your life:
Think about those six important areas of your life. Take out a piece of paper or print this out and beside each area, write how you feel about it. Are you very satisfied, satisfied, not satisfied, very dissatisfied? I know that sounds like a telemarketer questionnaire, but this is much more important than any telemarketing call!
Think of your dating life, even in a committed relationship, you should still take time to date. Do you and your partner go on dates – just the two of you at least once or twice a month? Do you use this time to focus on one another or are the kids or friends and family always with you? Dating is a great way to focus on one another and to keep the romance alive.
What about love? Sure you love your partner, but are you still in love with them? Many long term relationships continue, but that spark that makes your heart skip a beat when he walks in the door or when she has great news, just isn’t there. Do you work to keep your love strong? Do you kiss your partner good bye when they leave and kiss hello when they get home? Kissing is often the first thing a long term couple stops doing, and that is an indication something is wrong. Make a commitment to kiss, a real kiss, not a peck on the cheek, at least twice a day.
Is there still romance in your relationship? If you still go on dates with each other, that’s a great start. What about doing little romantic things for each other? Do you leave thoughtful loving notes for your partner to find? Occasionally do you turn down the lights and have a quiet dinner alone? During the work day, take a few minutes to send a sexy text to tell your partner what you’d like to do with them later that night. It will bring a smile to their face and could easily brighten a dull afternoon at work. Romance doesn’t have to be hard – especially in a long term relationship when you know what your partner likes – and you should never stop looking for ways to please each other and show you still love one another.
Are you happy with your relationship? This goes beyond having a roof over your head and food in the fridge.
• Do you feel complete in your relationship?
• Do you and your partner work together to make and maintain a home?
• There will always be issues to contend with, but do you know your partner is there to support you and to work through the hard times?
• Do you feel good about yourself in this relationship?
Intimacy & Sexuality
Are you happy with the level and degree of intimacy in your relationship? Is your sex life fulfilling for you? That doesn’t mean that you have sex several times a month. That means you have sex on a regular basis and is it truly satisfying. Is it like the kind of sex you had when you were first married? Do you and your partner make an effort to find new ways to please each other? Do you have a real intimacy in your relationship? That isn’t just sex, but the deeper connection between you and your partner – the kind that touches the deepest parts of your being and that satisfies you completely – with or without sex.
These are just some details off the top of my head. Take a few minutes, look over the questions above and think about how you would rate dating, romance, love, intimacy, relationship and sex – in your life. Are there any areas you’d like to talk to a love coach about – to find ways to make it even better? Do you feel like you are getting a better understanding of the areas where a love coach or a relationship coach could help you?
These are the kinds of things I help people with as a love coach. Identifying core strengths and weaknesses helps the coach and clients to gain a better understanding of their overall happiness. Then we use a variety of tools and techniques to improve the quality of the relationship and make sure it’s rewarding and very satisfying.
Nikki Leigh – Love and Relationship Coach